


Smooth Sailing

by Zeiskyte



Series: Persona Gravy Gang 2020 [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: #PersonaGravyGang2020, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeiskyte/pseuds/Zeiskyte
Summary: Goro, age 15, walks into Shido's office for the first time and sees Shido's extensive gravy boat collection.Written for #PersonaGravyGang2020 Day 7: Free Day!
Series: Persona Gravy Gang 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877830
Comments: 9
Kudos: 15
Collections: Day 7 - Free Gravy Day!





	Smooth Sailing

**Author's Note:**

> This spawned from the gravy gang proposing that all water in the universe is now gravy. I said "OMG WAIT. SHIDO'S PALACE" and Shido's gravy boat collection came into existence.

The day Goro found himself in that other world for the first time and awakened to Robin Hood, he knew he was chosen. Be it by god or demon, he cared not - _this was his chance_. He could approach Shido Masayoshi, offer his services, and earn his trust. Once Shido was appointed prime minister, Goro would reveal his true identity and watch Shido's career crumble before him. He would get revenge for his mother and revel in Shido's suffering.

Goro stood in front of the politician's door, hand poised to knock. Once Shido was in prison, maybe Goro could force an apology out of the man. His mother would never hear it, of course, but... a heartfelt, truthful apology might allow her soul to rest easy. It would never change the fact that Goro's life had been a living hell and his mother was currently six feet under - but it was _something_.

Acknowledgement would be acceptable. On the other hand, Shido was a vile man, considering what he had done to Goro and his mother - so maybe Goro didn't want acknowledgement from a man like that. Well. He would find out just what kind of man he was approaching once he opened the door. Robin Hood goaded him forward with a buzz of encouragement. Here goes nothing.

He rapped his fist against the door, strong enough to sound confident. Goro steeled himself, swallowing down his anxiety and hardening his resolve. This was for his mother. This was for _himself_.

"Come in," a cold voice called from behind the door, and Goro took a deep breath. No turning back now.

And that was how Goro, age 15, walked into Shido's office for the first time and saw Shido's extensive gravy boat collection.

Goro forced himself to focus. There was a wooden desk directly across from the door and the chair behind it was turned away from him. On the desk was a small pile of papers, some pens, a computer, an extendable wire lamp - and a shit ton of gravy boats. What the hell?

They were _everywhere_. On the desk, on the couches, lining the bookshelves, _glued to the fucking window_. Goro spotted porcelain boats of every size and every color. There were gravy boats shaped like animals, some that resembled cars and wagons, and -

Goro choked on his spit. In the corner of Shido's office was a fishtank, and floating at the top was a gravy boat made in the likeness of the fucking _Titanic._ There was even a model iceberg in the tank. What the fuck.

Maybe Goro died while he was in that other world. There was no way this could be real.

Goro snapped back to attention when the chair spun to face him. Sitting before him was Shido Masayoshi - his _father_ \- who currently wore a frown. The wrinkles around the man's eyes and nose painted the picture of being in his fifties, and his bald head did him no favors. His ugly tinted sunglasses hid garnet eyes identical to his son's and Goro plastered a smile on his face to hide his discomfort.

"You're quite young," Shido cocked an eyebrow, mild interest glinting in his eyes. "What business do you have here?"

Goro kept his smile up and willed his heart to calm down. Shido made no mention of his... _collection_ , so Goro shouldn't either. All he had to do was pretend that everything was fine and offer up his supernatural powers to his estranged father. Just your typical Tuesday.

"My name is Akechi and I have an offer to make you, sir," Goro said pleasantly, standing up taller. _Look professional, act like an adult_ \- "If you will hear me out, of course."

The man's expression did not change. "Make it quick. I was in the middle of something."

"Of course, sir," Goro maintained his smile and kept eye contact with his father. "You are currently trapped in a scandal. I have the means to free you from that issue."

Shido leaned forward onto his desk, elbows on the table and fingers tented. "What means could a boy like you possess?"

Goro tilted his head _just so_ , tapping into his charisma. "A boy like me has... _special powers_ , if you will."

Without breaking eye contact, Shido reached an arm across his desk to retrieve one of his gravy boats. The one he grabbed was brown and shaped like a cow. Goro bit the inside of his cheek to force himself to stay quiet. _Don't mention it._

Shido slid his glass cup over from next to his keyboard and began to pour gravy into it. "Special powers, hm?" The man's frown remained, unaffected by Goro's boyish charm. "Am I to simply believe that at face value?"

Goro blinked to clear his thoughts. _Don't mention it_. _Focus on the other world._ "I can tamper with the hearts of men. If you will allow me, I can prove my abilities to you."

Shido's eyes widened slightly. "'Tamper with the hearts of men'?" He placed the cow gravy boat back onto his desk with a soft _clink_. "That isn't a special power, boy."

The brunette kept his shoulders straight, unperturbed. How could he discuss his powers without sounding like a madman? That other world was certainly real, and Robin Hood assured him he was sane. Maybe if he were to use the app on his phone and disappear right in front of Shido's eyes...

"I can enter this..." he paused for dramatic effect, " _other world_. There are shadows of Tokyo's citizens there that reveal that person's secrets." He allowed his smile to grow larger. "Surely that will be useful in the political world?"

"Shadows, hm." Shido raised his glass to his lips and took a swig of gravy. Goro fought to keep his smile on his face. Despite Shido's odd interest in gravy, he was taking Goro's outlandish claims of special powers and other worlds surprisingly well. For how mild his reaction was, it almost seemed as if Shido was _familiar_ with the other world.

"That is what I have been calling them, yes." Goro's eyes flicked between Shido's face and the glass of gravy in the man's hand. "They seem to hold the suppressed thoughts and emotions of their actual selves, so - shadows."

Goro had found this out accidentally, of course. Once he had entered the other world, he had stumbled upon the owner of the orphanage. The woman prattled on about how the children were wastes of space and how she hated housing them. Goro had only known the woman to be nice and accommodating during his time there. A little stressed, sure, but never outright _hateful_. When she transformed into a monstrous form and backed Goro into a corner, he had awoken to Robin Hood and batted her off.

The following morning, she had entered the orphanage and called all of the children to the gathering room. Promptly bursting into tears, she apologized profusely for having those sorts of thoughts, despite never having voiced them. Robin Hood had thrummed with excitement, knowing that Goro finally had _some_ power over his life. And seeing Shido on the news, half-trapped in a scandal, Goro knew exactly what he had to do.

Shido placed his now-empty cup onto his desk with a _clink_ , snapping Goro out of his thoughts. "I don't suppose your _special power_ is a Persona?"

Goro's lips twitched, smile faltering. _Persona_. That was the word he yelled when he summoned Robin Hood for the first time. Goro felt his shoulders hitching up and forced them to relax.

Shido leaned back in his chair, face unreadable. "That woman was right."

He adjusted his smile and bit back his inquiry of _what woman?_ It didn't matter. Goro swallowed past the lump in his throat. Shido knew about the other world. Shido knew what _Personas_ were. He should be happy, shouldn't he? Shido didn't think he was crazy. Goro still had the opportunity to offer his services to the man.

In the silence, Goro let his eyes wander around the room once again. He hadn't noticed it initially but there were gravy boats suspended from the ceiling using fishing wire. On second thought - _how did he miss that_. This entire office was bizarre.

Seeing as Shido was still sorting through his thoughts, Goro continued to inspect the room. His gaze landed on a steel gerbil cage on one of the shelves. There was a spinning wheel... and a gravy boat shaped like a gerbil. No fucking way. This had to be a joke.

"Oh?"

Goro's eyes flicked back to Shido. Shit. He was supposed to act nonplussed by the whole gravy boat obsession thing.

Shido's lips pulled into a smile. His garnet eyes seemed to glint with excitement, not unlike a teenage girl about to rave about her celebrity crush. "Do you like my collection?"

Goro wished he was fucking adopted.

Well. Maybe that wasn't the right way to put it. He hoped it was a misunderstanding and Shido was never his biological father in the first place. Sure, it would make his revenge plot a lot more confusing and certainly more convuluted after exposing himself as being a Persona user - but. This was ridiculous.

Goro's mouth was starting to hurt from smiling so fucking much. "It is certainly... _interesting_ ," he said mildly. He didn't need Shido kicking him out, exposing him as a supernatural freak, and possibly assassinating him after this encounter. _Play along_ _and keep your neck_.

The man leaned forward and picked up his cow gravy boat from earlier. "This one is from my mother," he said eagerly. Genuine excitement spoken in Shido's slimy voice gave Goro an unsettling feeling of cognitive dissonance. "It was her own mother's, so it has become a family heirloom of sorts."

Goro nodded along. What kind of family heirloom was a cow-shaped gravy boat? ... That was _his_ family heirloom, now that he thought about it. What.

Unperturbed, Shido placed the cow down gently and picked up a light blue porcelain boat. "I bought this one with my first paycheck. Look at the craftmanship," he brandished it towards Goro, "isn't it beautiful?"

"Very, sir," Goro wanted to be literally anywhere besides here right now. He stood up taller and gathered his courage, opened his mouth to say, "I'd hate to take up more of your time, I must be going now-"

"Nonsense," Shido cut him off, and Goro deflated. So much for that.

The man put the boat down and stood up. Walking towards the window, he stopped in front of the drapes. Ah yes, Goro had almost forgotten about the gravy boats literally glued to the window.

"These were a set," Shido looked at the boats fondly, half-caught in a memory. "They were imported from America, made specifically for their holiday, Thanksgiving."

Upon further inspection, Goro noted that _yes_ , all of the gravy boats glued to the window were antiques and wonderfully crafted. It didn't change the fact that they were gravy boats _glued to the fucking window_.

Goro pushed down his frustration. The faster he allowed Shido to go through his collection, the faster he could leave. Goro was patient. He could deal with this. He would survive.

He forced himself to nod. "They're quite beautiful, sir."

"That's why I bought them," Shido replied. He then reached a hand up and gestured towards some of the boats hanging from the ceiling. "Truth be told, I ran out of room so I began to attach them to the ceiling."

Goro bit back his remark of _I couldn't tell from the ones you glued to the window_ and schooled his face into a focused look, as if he were genuinely appraising the boats. "It can also be seen as a stylistic choice." His mouth twisted, " _sir_."

The man stepped out from the space behind his desk and made his way towards the fish tank. The Titanic replica floated about slowly, pushed by the current of propelled water from the tank's pump. Honestly, considering how fixated Shido was on gravy, Goro was surprised the tank wasn't filled with gravy.

Shido stared at the tank with half-lidded eyes, looking solemn. "The Titanic gravy boats are discontinued," he sighed sadly. "I spent about 12000 yen on this one."

If Goro wasn't straining a smile right now, he would have choked on his spit and doubled over laughing. 12000 yen. _For a Titanic gravy boat_. What the fuck. What the fuck!

"I had it commissioned," he continued, completely ignoring Goro's struggle. "They included the model iceberg too. I'd consider that a steal."

"Certainly," Goro hummed, eyes watching the Titanic make a small turn in its rectangular confinement. It bumped against the iceberg but simply changed directions. Somehow this plastic replica was more durable than the actual Unsinkable.

Shido shut his eyes with a sigh. "I wanted a gravyberg but the commissioner denied that request."

Goro silently mouthed _gravyberg_ to himself in disbelief before getting his thoughts in order. "That's... unfortunate."

"Very."

For the pregnant silence that spanned between them, Goro believed his suffering was over. Maybe he could sneak out of the office and forget the deal. Akechi wasn't even his real _name_ \- just something stolen from a novel he chanced upon in the orphanage. Shido knew nothing about him and had no way of tracking him.

Just as Goro danced a step back, Shido's eyes snapped open. "You haven't met Biscuit yet."

Before he could control himself, Goro heard himself ask, "Who's Biscuit?"

Shido strode across the office and stopped in front of the shelves. Goro plastered a smile on his face and prayed that his eye wasn't twitching.

"This is Biscuit," Shido said, gesturing towards the gerbil-shaped gravy boat in the steel cage. He took the handle and promptly lodged the boat sideways into the wheel, porcelain clanking against the steel. He gave it a small spin. "He likes his wheel a lot."

Goro forced himself to nod. "I'm sure he does."

This was physically painful to listen to. Shido was in his fifties, wasn't he? Why did Goro, a fifteen-year-old orphan, feel more mature? Maybe his carefully crafted revenge plot was unnecessary; all he needed to do was break all of these stupid gravy boats and Shido would surely be devastated.

Suddenly, Shido turned to Goro with hardened eyes and a stern look on his face. "I will steer this country as prime minister."

Goro felt like he was doing the mental equivalent of the fucking Olympics. Shido was just showing off his gravy boat collection as if he were a _child_. This was a prime minister candidate. The worst part about this whole thing? Shido was already a big name politician and a high-ranking official. And there were gravy boats literally everywhere in his office.

Japan was fucked.

Goro tilted his head and said wryly, "Not if you are unable to escape that scandal." Remembering himself, he added a smile and tacked on, "sir."

Shido returned to his desk and took a seat. He placed his elbows on the table and actually looked like the adult he was supposed to be. "The Metaverse," he said, apropos of nothing, "is what we have been calling that _other world_."

Finally. Something _useful_. Goro tucked the knowledge away for later.

The man smirked. "How about you weasel out some information from some Shadows and then we'll discuss our terms?"

Shadows _loved_ to prattle on and on. It didn't matter if Goro wanted to listen or not - they _wouldn't shut up_. Getting information should be easy. All he needed were names.

"It will be done," Goro brandished his arm, just like he had seen businessmen and politicians do on the news, " _sir_."

When Shido took Goro's hand in his and gave him a firm handshake, Goro decided he would buy gloves the next time he was able to scrape together enough money.

It was as if the gravy boat showcase hadn't happened at all. Goro would have thought he hallucinated the entire thing if his hand hadn't brushed by the cow on Shido's desk. It was hard to believe this man was an adult. Maybe Goro still watching Featherman wasn't as bad as he thought it was.

"Return here when you have information." Shido tented his fingers in front of him, very much looking the part of _politician who is secretly evil_. Much more fitting than _obsessive gravy boat collector_. "Do not fail me, Akechi."

Goro offered a small bow. "Of course not, Shido-san."

When Goro left the office and closed the door behind him, he let out a heavy exhale. He had finally met his father and successfully gotten his foot in the door. All he needed to do was eavesdrop on some Shadows and he could begin his climb up Shido's trust ladder. Once Shido was prime minister, Goro would reveal the truth of his identity and watch Shido crumble.

But seeing the childish side of Shido, Goro wondered if his entire plan was even worth it. Maybe it wasn't even worth it to work under Shido and deliver him the seat of prime minister.

Goro ruminated on his thoughts as he exited the building. Just as he was about to head towards the station, he decided to slip around the back of the building and test something. He pulled out his phone, an old half-working piece of junk he stole from an old foster family, and opened the red and black app. He took a breath.

"Shido Masayoshi."

_Target confirmed_.

Goro let out a shuddering exhale. He couldn't just walk up to Shido's Shadow and demand answers. Maybe his revenge plot was still needed.

What was the name of this place again? "Diet Building?"

_Location confirmed_.

Two out of three, if the search boxes were anything to go by. That was name and location... all that was left was the distortion. Goro's mouth twisted. What could Shido see the Diet Building as?

"... gravy boat?"

He rolled his eyes. Surely there was no way, no matter _how_ obsessed the man was with-

_Distortion confirmed. Beginning navigation._

Goro squeezed his eyes shut against the onset of nausea and dizziness that assaulted him. He held his breath and balled his hands into fists. His body seemed to shake, and his vestibular system took a few lengthy moments to reconfigure itself to the Metaverse.

When he finally exhaled, he opened his eyes. The ground beneath him was shaky, as if it were constantly vibrating. Goro lifted his gaze up, meeting the hues of blue and gold strewn across the sky. He was on a boat.

He walked towards the edge and peered over the side. Instead of sailing through water, the entire ocean was gravy. Glancing over his shoulder, he recognized the blue and red shade of the ship.

Goro's mind finally caught up with him. This was a life-sized version of Shido's Titanic gravy boat.

Without a second thought, Goro retrieved his phone, reopened the Metaverse Navigator, said "Fuck this shit, I'm out," and returned to the real world.

**Author's Note:**

> Sadly, the [Titanic gravy boat](https://mcphee.com/blogs/news/titanic-gravy-boat) actually exists. Sadly, it's actually discontinued. Yell at me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Zeiskyte). Gravymen.


End file.
